In a world, where the mere mention of 2.0’s plot in my Thugs of Hindostan Honest Review was enough to set Quorans off and abuse me in the comments; I waited for two days to finally gather the courage to write this review— after praying to the gods, editing this draft a gazillion times, and hoping that the die-hard fans who happen to read this will keep an open mind.
Also, I will NOT be mentioning anything about Rajinikanth (Sir) for I am mere mortal writing stuff on the internet and the fans here haven’t bestowed the power upon me to critique him. Also, I’m scared of their wrath.
He’s a superstar after all.
He’s even introduced as ‘Superstar Rajinikanth’ in the posters and the credits.
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The trailer made you think that the movie will be about a bird-lover who dies and returns as a bird-monster made up of cell phones, to teach humans a lesson, and Chitti the robot only can stop him.
That’s pretty much it.
That IS the entire story of the movie. Go back home now, you can sum it all up in a single tweet.
At the core of the movie, it’s proclaimed that cell phone towers emit radiations that kill birds
The only problem is… that it isn’t proven.
The birds definitely don’t fall dead as soon as a tower pops up as shown in Akshay’s birdhouse in the movie. My society has two cell phone towers on its terrace for almost a decade. Yet those stupid pigeons sit on it the entire day and just keep shitting on the terrace.
Not one has died.
Well, actually just one but it was stuck in the Kite Threads (Maanja) which was entangled on the tower.
Should I attach the image?
Nah! It’d be too graphic for a Sunday.
Also as this article points out—
displacement of sparrows from Indian cities is very much related to urbanisation (nesting problems) and use of pesticides (which kills worms that they feed their babies). There is no study that proves that cell phone towers only are responsible.
So when the premise of the movie is shaky, there isn’t much that the story can deliver.
But greet the cool VFX which are the only redeeming thing about the entire movie.
Man… this shot was so cool.
Okay, you can spot a few fake birds, like the Hornbills during Akshay Kumar’s background reveal or that time when a sparrow pecks on a stillborn baby’s chest and it comes to life (yes, you read it right); but they can be ignored.
The VFX is very, very good.
And that justifies the movie’s delayed-release.
Fun Fact: It was initially going to be released in October 2017.
13 months… if only they could have worked on the story during this time.
So when you think that Superstar Rajini or Akshay Kumar would be the biggest stars in the movie… you’ll be proven wrong.
Because the biggest stars of the movie are—
- Coca Cola
- Rolls Royce
- Victoria’s freaking Secret
- and the biggest of all… this device—
If only I had a dollar for every time an iPhone is shown in the movie.
It literally featured so many iPhones that they can easily outnumber the total iPhone sales in India in this year. Apple struggles in India as iPhone sales drop
And really, almost 7000 extra bucks to get this in White?
Apple’s pricing strategy needs a serious revision in India.
Also, sue me for nitpicking but there’s no way that an iPhone could fly away out of a store while breaking windows like these.
It’s an iPhone not that Nokia.
My phone simply fell from the bed onto the carpet and cracked the screen, and now I’m afraid to get it repaired from outside because Apple might just sue me—
Anyone else excited to see the fall of Apple?
But why are we talking of iPhones in this review?
It’s as irrelevant as the iPhone 6S poster they showed in the movie meant for 2018.
So gear up to watch the epic—
- Where a swarm of phones of an entire city is flying around, yet no one reports its location to the police till the hero tracks them down even though you can spot it from miles away.
- Where one of the leading scientists of the country believes in—
- the aura
- the afterlife
- the paranormal
- and calls it this to make it sound sciency.
- Where phones can torture the bad guy on a road and not a single car comes by in that time?
- Also, lights that emanate from phones aren’t that bright.
- And that guy is the Mukesh Ambani equivalent in the movie.
- He drives freaking Bentleys and Rolls and owns many towers.
- Yet not a single security guard with him on a deserted road?
(Stop nitpicking Divyansh. The scene is shot beautifully and that is all that matters. Don’t continue or they’ll kill you in comments)
And there’s NILA.
If only Amy Jackson wasn’t dating that millionaire-playboy.
So gear up for the movie which packs—
- insane action
- great shots
- cool cinematography
- great music and sound design (courtesy of two Oscar winners)
- and lots of bird-puns
But is plagued by—
- poor story
- bad character development
- and certain other things which I really shouldn’t say lest I’ll get hammered in comments.
- There were a few laughs.
- Some really great VFX work.
- But by the time the main battle at the climax arrives… you’ll just wish that the movie gets over.
- Mind you, that’s some brilliant VFX work in the end.
- But because of an underdeveloped story and characters not taking their jobs seriously, it loses its charm.
- And this shot—
- He has two hands, right?
- Then how can he fire from all the guns at the same time?
- And those mini-me bots, in the end, were just… that was just lazy storytelling.
- How did they find so many white pigeons?
- How did they train those doves in such less time to be perfectly capable of riding them?
- If it was so obvious that birds are the villain’s Achilles’ Heel, why not just threaten him that they’ll snap a bird in half if he doesn’t surrender earlier?
- Also… Akshay Kumar is just introduced at the interval.
- Although his 15-minute backstory does justify his motives… you never truly get to know him.
- The movie has a good message and some really good VFX. But that’s it. It could be a fun one-time watch, but had a good story accompanied it… it could have truly been brilliant.
- But I am certain 2.0 won’t flop like Thugs. It’ll break even soon.
- Super Star
- Birdman + Hawkgirl + Heihachi from Tekken
- That cute selfie girl—
- Andhra Pradesh’s number plate on cars in Chennai—
- No physics no problemo—
- Those spares from the Hollywood movie I, Robot in the back—
- Coca Cola
- Mumbai FC
- Nippon Paints
- And… world’s first AI Nudity in a movie—
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